


Right Where You Want Me

by perfututum



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Developing Relationship, Dry Humping, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Relationship Discussions, mentions of namixi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-01-07 03:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18402587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfututum/pseuds/perfututum
Summary: The topic of love didn’t come up again for a while. The three of them fell into an easy routine. There were rarely any arguments; they were getting along even better than they had in the Organization. Axel really had no complaints.For now, life was simple. Uncomplicated.“Axel? C-Can we, um… talkaboutsex?”Ah, shit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All character ages are open to interpretation.

Not once in either of his lives had Axel thought he would be this content. Even as he was sitting at the little dining table paying the bills— _shit,_ they didn’t use _that_ much electricity, did they?—he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. Roxas and Xion were back, and the three of them lived in a cozy apartment in their favorite world, Twilight Town. Isa had decided to go back to Radiant Garden and keep looking for their old friend, but he got ice cream with the rest of them as often as he could.

Axel could confidently say that he didn’t deserve any of this, not after all he’s done, but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. He still worried for Sora, though, wherever he was. Part of him felt guilty for feeling so happy while no one knew what had happened to the kid. He even had the selfish thought of _thank fuck it isn’t Roxas._

Roxas was still taking it pretty hard, weeks after the fact, but Axel assured him that he and Kairi would continue their training and become Keyblade Masters to help save Sora. Xion wanted to help, too. Not that she’d need much training—she was tough as nails.

“I don’t know if I wanna be a Keyblade Master,” Roxas had mumbled on the night they moved in, eyes downcast. “Not yet, anyway.”

Axel never questioned him. Roxas was probably the strongest Keyblade Wielder out there. Instead, he’d asked, “What do you want to do, Roxas?”

Roxas’s eyes watered, and he smiled. It occurred to Axel later that no one had ever asked Roxas that question. Roxas told him simply that he just wanted to go to school.

Xion decided to enroll with him and train in her spare time. Well, train and hang out with Naminé. Axel wondered if there was something going on between those two… How cute. Just as he was finishing up and sealing the last of the envelopes, Roxas came in through the front door, backpack slung over his shoulder.

Axel grinned. “Hey, buddy,” he greeted. “Where’s Xion?”

Roxas kicked off his shoes and tossed his bag aside. “Take a guess,” he said, flopping down on the couch.

Axel chuckled. “Yeah, I figured.” When Roxas didn’t respond, he added, “You okay?”

Roxas shrugged and tried on a smile. “Yeah, it’s just… Can’t they hang out with the two of us?”

Oh, the innocence. It was so cute on him. Axel sat down next to him and ruffled his hair. Roxas batted his hand away, and Axel pulled him into a headlock. “Okay, okay!” Roxas laughed. “I surrender.”

Axel grinned and released him. “It’s gonna be fine, man. Xion and Naminé just, uh, wanna spend some extra time alone together.”

Roxas’s brows pinched, his head tilting like a puppy’s. “You mean like they’re best friends now?”

“I think there’s um, another element to it.”

“C’mon, spit it out!” Roxas said with a playful roll of the eyes. “Am I gonna have to look it up on Moogle?”

“Yeesh, no way. Who knows what you might find on there.”

“Well!” Roxas laughed. “You haven’t been this vague since I asked you about—” He stopped. His eyes widened, a look of realization washing over his face.

Axel wasn’t sure he liked that look. “What?”

“Are Xion and Naminé in _love?”_

Axel reeled back. “Whoa! Who said anything about love?”

“Not you, obviously,” Roxas griped, crossing his arms. “You know, when we were Nobodies, you totally dodged the subject because we thought we didn’t have hearts. Well, we _do,_ so I want a proper explanation.”

Oh, _man._ Maybe he should have told him back in the Organization. Then _this_ wouldn’t be happening. He scratched the back of his neck—a bit of a nervous habit—and spluttered, “I-It’s hard to explain!”

Roxas puffed out his cheeks and glared.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Axel cried, but the fight was already draining from him. He groaned. “Fine! Whatever. But if I completely destroy your perception of the universe or something, don’t come crying to me.”

Roxas grinned and uncrossed his arms, scooting closer to Axel on the couch, ready to listen.

The conversation was just as painful and awkward as it was the first time, but Roxas didn’t seem to mind that much. He asked question after question, prodding endlessly until he was satisfied with the answer he got. Axel at least got some enjoyment out of explaining that yes, you can _say_ you love sea-salt ice cream, but it’s not the same as loving a person, and certainly not the same as being _in_ love with someone.

“So, Xion and Naminé aren’t in love then?”

Axel shrugged. “Probably not. That kind of thing takes time.”

“So they might fall in love later? If they spend enough time together?” Roxas’s expression was unreadable. Information overload, probably.

“Guess it’s possible.”

Roxas was quiet for a few moments before he quietly asked, “Then, if I spend a bunch of time with someone, I could fall in love?”

The atmosphere felt tense. Roxas’s tone had shifted; it was much more serious now. Axel bit the inside of his cheek. He would have to pick his next words carefully.

“If… If it’s the right person,” Axel said in an almost-whisper. “Sure.”

Roxas looked down at his lap and bit his lip in thought. What was he thinking about? Did he already have someone in mind? Axel tried picturing Roxas in love with someone—Hayner? Olette? Even Xion?—but the image made his lip curl for some reason. But why? He thought he knew better than to be jealous by now. And he _wasn’t_ jealous.

Right? Of course, he loved Roxas, but he wasn’t _in love--_

Axel cleared his throat to derail that train of thought. “What are you thinking about?” he asked carefully.

“N-Nothing,” Roxas said quickly. “I think I’m all out of questions for now.”

Axel bit back a sigh of relief and clapped Roxas on the shoulder. “Well, if you think of any more, you know where to find me.” He smiled and stood, cracking his neck. Time for a change of subject. “Thought about what you want for dinner yet?”

“Ice cream?” Roxas joked, and Axel smacked him with a throw pillow.

∞

The topic of love didn’t come up again for a while. The three of them fell into an easy routine. There were rarely any arguments; they were getting along even better than they had in the Organization. Axel really had no complaints.

For now, life was simple. Uncomplicated.

“Axel? C-Can we, um… _talkaboutsex?”_

_Ah, shit._

It was a good thing, Axel thought, that he wasn’t eating anything just then. He might have choked. Or spit it out onto Roxas’s _very_ flushed face. He must have stared a second too long because Roxas backpedaled, “I-I mean! Never mind, really, it’s stupid. Everyone at school is just kind of weird about it, so I thought I’d ask you? B-But if—”

Axel stopped him with a hand on each of his shoulders. “Okay, Roxas, slow _down,_ ” he said in the most calming voice he could muster. All right. There was probably still a way to get out of this. “Why do you bring it up, exactly?”

Roxas looked down at his feet and gave a tiny shrug. “Sometimes…” He stopped and heaved a sigh. “Sometimes, it feels like I don’t know _anything,”_ he said sadly. “Like, I know the basics—”

 _Yeah, thank fuck you do,_ Axel thought. If he had to be the one to teach his best friend _everything,_ he might die of embarrassment.

“—but it’s like everyone is in on some joke that I don’t know the punchline to. I think even Xion has figured out more than me.”

If there was anything that made Axel weak, it was Roxas’s quivering frown. How could he look him in the eyes and tell him to buzz off? No, if Roxas figures out all he has to do is look a little sad, he’ll win every single one of his battles with Axel.

“All right, buddy,” Axel conceded, “sit down and we’ll talk.”

Roxas sat on the couch—Axel was going to start to hate sitting there if _every_ awkward conversation they have is gonna be there—while Axel grabbed them a couple bottles of water from the kitchen.

“First thing’s first,” Axel said, sitting down and injecting as much confidence in his voice as he could muster. “Everything’s going to be okay.” Roxas didn’t look convinced. He leaned back into the cushions and took a sip of water. “What brought this on?”

Roxas blushed again and hid his face in his hair. He mumbled something about Hayner, which made Axel’s heart jump. Did Hayner come onto him?

Axel moved closer to him. “What did you say?”

“Last week, Hayner told me he ‘slept with’ Olette…?” Roxas was clearly unsure of his words, the phrasing probably confusing to him. Axel was inexplicably relieved nonetheless.

“Oh,” he breathed out. “Well that’s pretty normal. High schoolers do that stuff all the time.” At that, Roxas deflated even more, and Axel quickly corrected himself. “They also _don’t_ do it all the time! You know. No pressure.”

“There’s more,” Roxas said. “There’s this girl.”

Axel gulped. A million questions ran through his mind at once. Did Roxas want to sleep with this girl? Did he already? Who was she? Did she deserve him? Why did Axel _care so much!?_

“I see her around sometimes,” he continued, “but we don’t really talk. But then today, she met me at my locker.” He started to wring his hands. “She kinda crowded up to me, saying weird things.”

“What weird things?” Axel asked tersely.

Roxas shrugged. “I had to look them up after. Basically, she wanted to… you know.”

Axel clenched his jaw. “Yeah.” There was a long pause. “What did you tell her?”

“I didn’t know what to say. I just stood there, and then she asked if I’d think about it. I told her I would so she would go away.”

“So, she left you alone?” Axel asked hopefully.

Roxas nodded. “Yeah, but… the thing is…” He trailed off, looking more uncomfortable by the second. He let out a harsh breath and wrapped his arms tightly around himself. “I _have_ thought about it.”

Axel didn’t think he could take any more of this rollercoaster of a conversation, but if he didn’t keep his patience, he might snap, and the last thing he would ever want to do is upset Roxas. Again.

“But I think there’s something wrong with me. I don’t want to do it with her. Or Olette, or Xion, or any of the girls I know.”

Axel’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Now why would you think that means something is wrong with you?”

“Aren’t I supposed to want to?”

Axel smiled and ruffled Roxas’s hair. “No way. You like who you like!”

Roxas tilted his head in confusion. “I like girls just fine?”

Oh. Ohhh. Okay. Axel could see where the confusion was. “Roxas, I think I owe you an apology.”

“What for?”

“I’ve failed you,” he said dramatically. “I guess I never told you that uh, well. Sex and love kind of go together. Usually.”

Roxas’s eyes grew comically wide. “You mean, when you’re in love with someone, you have sex with them?”

“Yeah,” Axel laughed. “If you both want to, yeah, shit, that part’s important.”

Roxas shoved him. “I knew _that.”_

“I gotta make sure!” Axel set a hand on Roxas’s shoulder. “Do you feel any better?”

“Sort of. I still don’t think I get it. Does this mean Hayner and Olette are in love? And that Xion and Naminé are sleeping together?”

Oh boy. “Not necessarily…” Axel rubbed the back of his neck. “The two aren’t exactly mutually exclusive. But they often go together.”

“And that’s supposed to _not_ be confusing?”

Axel snorted. “No, it’s definitely confusing. But you want my advice?”

Roxas nodded pitifully.

“Just… wait until there’s someone you like. I mean _really_ like. Make it special.” Axel’s voice had gone soft, gentle. Goodness help him if anyone else ever heard him like that. Blegh.

Roxas locked eyes with him for an intense moment. “Did you ever have someone you really liked?”

Faded memories of frisbee matches, black coats, and a shock of blue flooded Axel’s mind. He smiled wryly. “Yeah. But I don’t kiss and tell.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “You know, I still don’t even _get_ kissing. Like, sex kind of makes sense, I guess. But what do you even get out of just, mashing your mouths together?”

Axel laughed out loud at that. “Have you ever actually kissed anyone?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Ha,” he cut him off, “there you go. Get back to me when you’ve done it for yourself.”

Roxas crossed his arms and puffed out his chest. “Maybe I will!”

Axel choked on his own saliva. “Actually, don’t!” he blurted before he could stop himself.

“Why not?” Roxas asked, indignant. When Axel came up short, Roxas said, “Oh, I need someone I really like first, right?”

“Right,” Axel breathed out. “Exactly.”

Roxas’s eyes glittered. He leaned forward, got into Axel’s space, making him gulp. “What if I already like someone?” he whispered, a hint of mischief in his voice.

And for a moment, the briefest moment, Axel hoped it would be him—that Roxas would close the distance between them and fumble his way through his first kiss with him.

Before Axel could stutter through a response, Roxas suddenly stood. “I gotta go,” he said, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “I forgot promised someone I’d study with them. Bye!”

The door was shut by the time Axel got his bearings.

_What the hell was that?_

Was Roxas going to meet his special person? Did Axel wish that person was _him?_

Oh no.

∞

The next few hours that passed were torture, naturally. Axel was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d heard the door unlock a little bit ago, and his heart lurched at the thought it might be Roxas.

“Yoo-hoo!” Xion called. “Anybody home?”

“In here.” Axel didn’t move, even when Xion poked her head in the doorway.

“Napping again, lazy bum?”

“Ha-ha, you’re hilarious,” he replied dryly. “How was Naminé?”

Xion’s face went pink. “Um, she’s fine. Good! Great.”

Axel grinned and sat up. “Hey, if things are going so well, you might want to share some of your love advice with Roxas. He’s been asking about it.”

Her eyes widened like saucers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Bye!” She dashed out of his room and into her own, shutting the door.

Axel chuckled to himself. What was he gonna do with those two…

He lay back down and threw an arm over his eyes, letting his mind wander. Could he be in love with his best friend? What would that do to their friendship? Shit, what would _Isa_ think? He’d probably make fun of him forever. Or would he be angry? Would his jealousy re-emerge?

Drowning in worry, Axel didn’t even notice he had fallen asleep until he jerked awake to the sound of a soft knocking against his door frame. Roxas was standing there, glowing in the low light of the sunset with a soft smile on his face.

“Hey,” Axel almost whispered, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Roxas averted his gaze shyly. “Hi.” He walked into the room, shut the door behind him, and stopped by the side of the bed. “Can I sit?”

Axel nodded, speechless. Roxas lowered himself onto the bed unnecessarily close to Axel, hands clasped in his lap.

Axel cleared his throat. “You were gone awhile,” he said. “What kept you so long?” Smooth, real smooth.

“I was… studying.” He was still wearing that little smile.

“With your friend?” Who, who, _who_ was Roxas with?

Roxas shook his head. “Nah, I was alone.”

Axel hadn’t realized his chest felt tight until just then, when the feeling let up. “Oh, so you’re a fibber now, huh?” he teased.

“I actually _was_ at the library!”

“And you just _had_ to go right then, did you?”

Roxas’s cheeks pinked. “I was thinking about what we talked about. So I did some research of my own.”

Axel stopped short. “W-Wha—”

In a flash, Roxas was surging toward him and straddling his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Axel swallowed. There were a million things he wanted to say, but he held his tongue, fearful that if he so much as twitched, he would wake up from this fever dream.

Roxas’s eyes flicked down to Axel’s lips and back, and that was it. He planted his lips firmly against Axel’s, all confidence and no finesse. It was a few seconds before Axel was stunned into action, about the same time that Roxas’s confidence seemed to waver. Afraid Roxas might pull away, Axel put a hand on his waist and cradled his neck with the other, pulling him impossibly close.

Roxas let out a sound of surprise and what could have been a giggle, and he relaxed in his hold. Their lips moved together awkwardly at first, but Roxas was nothing if not a quick learner. Axel smiled against Roxas’s mouth. This was so surreal. He had the thought that maybe he should wait to deepen the kiss, give Roxas the chance to get his bearings, but his eagerness overcame him.

He prodded at Roxas’s lips with his tongue cautiously, not too demanding. Roxas got the message and parted his lips, brushing his tongue against Axel’s experimentally. They kissed slowly, deeply. Axel ran his hand over Roxas’s back, making him shiver. He nipped at Roxas’s lower lip, giving him pause.

“Sorry!” Axel said quickly, “We can stop if—”

Roxas let out a sound almost like a growl and yanked Axel toward him once more. Their teeth knocked together. “Ow!” Roxas yelped.

Axel licked his lips to check for blood. “Careful,” he murmured with a smile.

“Sorry. Try again?”

Axel didn’t need to be asked twice. He brushed a lock of hair behind Roxas’s ear and leaned in for a much gentler kiss. Roxas melted into him with a sigh. Butterflies went wild in Axel’s stomach—was this really happening? He couldn’t be sure, especially when Roxas shifted slightly and _ground down into Axel’s lap holy shit._ Axel was getting harder by the second, Roxas was too, he could _feel it._ They moaned into each other’s mouths, and Roxas rolled his hips again.

“Shit, Roxas,” Axel said against his lips. He was dying to get out of these clothes, to get Roxas out of _his_ clothes, but he was content to let Roxas run the show. If this was all he wanted to give, Axel wouldn’t ask for more. Even if his jeans were getting uncomfortably tight.

“Axel,” Roxas moaned, building up a steady rhythm.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. His eyes were shut, brows pinched. His mouth hung open slightly—the picture of perfect bliss. Axel wished he could actually snap a picture of it, but that would definitely ruin the moment.

Roxas tugged Axel downward to press their foreheads together. He opened his eyes to look into Axel’s with a half-lidded gaze for a hypnotizing moment before he moved to press a kiss under Axel’s ear. Axel shuddered, and Roxas moved down and nipped at his throat. Axel’s hips stuttered in their movement, which must have encouraged Roxas because he started _sucking and oh shit he was gonna come in his pants._

He would never forgive himself if he finished before Roxas—this was his first sexual experience, damn it! Axel moaned out loud and focused his energy on not fucking this up.

Roxas came away from his neck and kissed him again. Axel let himself be practically devoured until he felt Roxas leaning his full weight against him. Taking the hint, he leaned back until they were full-blown horizontal, making out, _on Axel’s_ _bed._

They could go on like that forever and Axel would never get tired of it. Then he had a scary thought—what would happen when this was over? Would it ever happen again? Would Roxas think it was a mistake?

Roxas pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

“What?” he asked, caught off guard.

“You stopped—um, stopped kissing me back.”

Axel gave him a little smile, all he could muster just then. “It’s nothing.” He craned his neck to capture Roxas’s lips again, but Roxas moved out of reach and glared at him. Damn those eyes of his. Axel sighed. “Are you sure you want to be doing this, Roxas? _Really_ sure? With _me?”_

Roxas blinked. Now would be the moment that he realized this was all one big lapse in judgment and they would go back to being friends. That would be okay. It would _have_ to be okay. But why was that thought so crushing?

Roxas cupped Axel’s face in his hands and smiled softly. “I really like you, Axel,” he said, throwing all of Axel’s expectations out the window. Roxas kissed him again and again, and Axel finally lost himself in the sensation.

They rolled their hips together with renewed passion, hardly even kissing anymore—more like panting into each other’s mouths. Roxas’s rhythm faltered and he gasped and let out something like a whine. Axel took that as his cue; he let go at last, throwing his head back and letting his orgasm wash over him with a groan. “Oh, fuck.”

Roxas collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily into Axel’s neck. He laughed weakly. “What now?”

Axel smiled dazedly and ran a hand through Roxas’s hair. “Now we change out of these pants. Ick.”

“Don’t wanna move,” Roxas complained. “Is this why they call it ‘sleeping together'?”

Axel snorted and shoved Roxas off of him. “Up and at ‘em, lazy bones, before this dries. I gotta do laundry anyway.”

Roxas huffed but stood up anyway. He started to unbuckle his belt but froze—it occurred then to Axel that sure, they both just got each other off, but they never actually saw each other naked.

Axel scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll just, uh, let you get changed and—"

He heard the unmistakable sound of a belt unbuckling, followed by pants hitting the ground. Axel turned to face him again—he was taking off his shirt, too. Axel cleared his throat nervously and felt his face heat up.

Roxas smiled bashfully and picked up his clothes, handing them to Axel in a pile. “Here ya go.”

Axel took them wide-eyed, careful not to stare too long at his best friend’s… nakedness. “I um, got boxers in the top drawer you can wear, just lemme—” He set Roxas’s clothes down on the bed so he could take off his clothes, stripping quickly and adding to the pile. He probably could have tried to make it at least a little sexy, but hey, he was overwhelmed.

Roxas fished out some underwear for the both of them before Axel could walk out and potentially traumatize Xion. By the time he started the washer and came back, Roxas had settled in under the covers of Axel’s bed. Normally, he’d have said something clever or funny, but he came up short. The sight just made him so _giddy_.

Roxas looked up at him, worried. “Is—Is this okay? I can go back to my room.”

Axel chuckled. “’Course it is.” He crawled in next to Roxas, allowing a few inches of space between them. Roxas rolled onto his side to face him, his big blue eyes boring into Axel’s expectantly. “Can I help you with something?” he teased in a soft voice.

Roxas didn’t laugh, all business. “Axel? Does this mean we’re… together now?”

The question shouldn’t have caught him off guard, but it did. And yet, he didn’t even have to think about the answer that much. He propped himself up on an elbow to lean in and plant a sweet kiss on Roxas’s forehead. “Whatever you want, Roxas.”

“Good,” Roxas said, moving to rest his head on Axel’s chest. Axel hugged him close, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 


	2. Chapter 2

When Axel woke up, he was alone. He had half a mind to panic—was last night all a dream? He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It definitely hadn’t felt like a dream. Had Roxas changed his mind?

He stood with a sigh and threw on a shirt. Might as well get some coffee and find something productive to do. He left the room and made for the kitchen, where he saw Roxas pouring himself a bowl of cereal. 

Roxas looked up at him and grinned, and relief came flooding over Axel. So, nothing had changed for the worse… “Hey, Axel,” Roxas greeted, inadvertently over-filling his bowl and making a mess in his distraction. “Shit!”

“Yeesh, where did you get that potty mouth?” Axel jibed. 

“From you, obviously,” Roxas shot back, sweeping the stray cereal bits back into the box. Axel stood for a moment just watching him, a little awkwardly before Roxas reminded him why he came there in the first place. “Oh, I made coffee, by the way.” He gestured to the full pot in the corner.

Axel’s heart swelled. Roxas didn’t even like coffee—he made it just for him. “Thanks, buddy.” They sat together at their little table, Axel checking his phone for missions and Roxas flipping through a book and making funny faces at some of the pages. “You know it’s Saturday, right?” Axel said to him. “You can put the homework off for a little while.”

Roxas turned pink. “It's not homework.”

“Ew, you're reading for what, then? Fun?”

“Some of us here were born into teenage-hood,” he retorted with an eye-roll, “so we have to do certain research on our own.” 

Axel's brows pinched together. “‘Certain research’?” He made to playfully yank the book from Roxas’s hands, but Roxas swatted him away. 

“Yeah, from the library and everything.”

Oh. Was Roxas researching…? Axel didn’t even know. It could be love, sex, relationships… Or he was just projecting--Roxas could be researching weather patterns for all he knew. Probably best not to pry either way. “Look at you, being all studious,” he said instead, taking a swig of his coffee. “More than I could say for myself in school.”

“You ever think about going back? To school, I mean,” Roxas said, nose buried in his book once again. 

Axel leaned back in his chair. “Nah. Maybe sometimes, but… I think the time for that has passed.” He spent so many years in the Organization, important years, he wouldn’t even know how to  _ be _ if he went back. Besides, he was content to watch Roxas and Xion settle into their new roles as humans. “Do Keyblade Masters even have to go to school?”

Roxas snorted. “Who’s a Keyblade Master? Not you, that’s for sure.”

Axel kicked his shin under the table and they laughed. 

“Hey, so,” Roxas started, dog-earing his book and setting it down, “are you doing anything today?”

Axel shook his head. “Nah, there’s not any available missions worth doing.” Then he smirked. “Why do you ask?”

“I thought we could hang out today, the two of us,” he explained simply. Roxas has said those words to him before, but this time it made Axel feel particularly warm and fuzzy. “We don’t even have to go anywhere,” he said in a low voice, starting to run the tip of his foot up Axel’s shin, “we could just stay here.”

“Oh, really?” Either Roxas was already getting good at being a tease, or he was actually trying to be sly. Axel leaned in for a kiss--

Roxas’s Gummiphone rang, interrupting them. Damn it. Roxas composed himself and answered, “Hey, Hayner.” 

He invited Roxas out for pretzels with him and Pence and Olette. Roxas looked unsure, his eyes meeting Axel’s with something like concern. “Uh, one sec!” he said and muted the phone’s mic. “I--”

Axel smiled and stood, walking around the table to lean down and whisper in Roxas’s ear, “Go ahead, I’ll still be here when you get back.” 

Roxas visibly shivered but said nothing. He just unmuted the phone and told Hayner he’d meet them by the tower. “I-I’ll see you later, Axel!” And he hurried out the door. 

Part of him regretted not telling Roxas to stay in with him, but he couldn’t in good conscience keep him from his new friends. Axel got to see him every day, after all. Xion was with Naminé again, so he had to entertain himself most of the day--watched some TV, caught up with Isa, got some exercise out of the way. He texted Roxas some, too. His friends kept tacking on new things to do and dragging Roxas along. Axel was sure he didn’t actually mind, though. He was probably just acting irritated for Axel’s sake. It was sweet. 

Roxas didn’t get home until late. So late, in fact, that the poor kid was dead tired. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “I couldn’t get away.” He collapsed onto the couch next to Axel. 

“It’s okay,” Axel told him, just barely concealing his disappointment. “You gonna go to bed?”

“No, no, I can stay up.” He barely stifled a yawn. “We could watch a movie?”

“Heh, sure.” Axel picked the first semi-interesting movie that he saw--time was of the essence here. If Roxas fell asleep before they could even start watching, the entire night could be considered a bust. 

Axel set the remote down and let his hand rest at his side, lightly brushing Roxas’s. It wasn’t exactly intentional, but he wasn’t about to pull away. Neither was Roxas, apparently--Axel felt him move his pinky ever-so-slightly, curling around Axel’s own. 

Roxas stared straight ahead at the screen, but he was visibly blushing. Something so simple shouldn’t give Axel butterflies, not after what they did last night, but just the touch of Roxas’s hand was fire against his skin. Minutes ticked by and their hands slowly joined together as the movie progressed until their fingers were interlocked, Axel’s thumb gently running over Roxas’s. 

Roxas was really starting to droop--his eyes were half-lidded and he kept nodding off. Axel squeezed his hand before letting go, untangling their fingers so he could wrap an arm around Roxas’s shoulders and hug him close. Roxas hummed and leaned into him, eyes closed. Soon after that, his breathing evened out and he was asleep. 

They stayed that way through the rest of the movie, Roxas not moving an inch. They really needed to get to bed. Axel would feel bad about waking him up… He planted a kiss to the top of Roxas’s head and carefully reached underneath his legs to lift him up bridal style. 

Would it be too presumptuous, Axel wondered, if he carried him to his own room? Probably. He decided to play it safe and go to Roxas’s room instead, setting him down onto his bed without waking him. He looked so serene. Axel was grateful that Roxas could have some kind of peace now. 

Axel took a quick shower and fell asleep practically as soon as his head hit the pillow. He might have liked to have Roxas by his side like last night, but he kept him company in his dreams.

Suddenly, his Gummiphone started buzzing on his bedside table and he jerked awake. Someone was calling him. He groaned and blearily checked the screen just long enough to hang up on whatever asshole was calling him in the middle of the night. In the middle of a  _ very _ pleasant dream, no less! Not five seconds after he put the phone back down did it start buzzing again.

“Fuck,” he grumbled, this time checking the caller ID. He straightened up as soon as he read the name. “Roxas?” he answered.

“Hey.” Roxas’s voice was barely audible.

“Uh, hey? Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I just…” He trailed off, puffing out a shaky breath. It sounded like he was holding back tears. 

“Why don’t you come in here, hm?” Axel offered. 

Roxas was silent for a few seconds before giving a quiet, “‘Kay,” and the line went dead. Moments later, there was a knock on Axel’s door.

“It’s open,” Axel said, and Roxas let himself in. He shut the door behind him but stayed there, picking at his nails. “Roxas?”

“It’s embarrassing,” he mumbled in response.

“What, did you wet the bed or somethin’?” Axel joked.

Roxas rolled his eyes. “No, Ax-hole, nothing like that.”

“Hey, no shame in it,” Axel said, chuckling. “I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure Xigbar shit his pants once.” Roxas finally laughed at that, and Axel pulled back the covers and patted the mattress. “C’mere.”

Roxas crawled into bed and curled up next to him. They were on their sides facing each other--Axel couldn’t help but lay a hand on Roxas’s hip. 

“So, is something the matter? Or did you just wanna see me?”

Roxas didn’t tease him back. “...Nightmare.”

“Oh.” Axel could relate. After everything they’d been through, it only made sense. But he could only imagine what Roxas saw when he closed his eyes. He was a tortured soul. “You wanna talk about it?”

Roxas took a deep, shuddering breath. “I was back there,” he whispered. “That room in the Mansion. Screaming at DiZ. Standing in front of Sora’s pod.” Tears formed in his eyes and he began to shake. “I had to--” He swallowed. “I had to go back.”

Axel’s heart broke. He pulled Roxas toward him and held him tightly, carding a hand through his hair. “Shh, it’s okay,” Axel cooed into his ear as Roxas sobbed into his shoulder. “It’s over, buddy. You’re here with me, and Xion too. You’re in Twilight Town--a  _ real  _ Twilight Town with  _ real  _ people who-- who love you.”  _ And I... really love you. _

That calmed him a little, but the tears continued to fall and soak into Axel’s shirt. He curled a hand into the fabric--he seemed so small like this. It wasn’t often that Roxas let his walls down. Then he hiccupped and said, “It’s--I know that if I had to, I’d switch places with Sora again, especially now.” Axel tightened his grip on Roxas but said nothing. “The Worlds need him more, but--”

“Don’t say that,” Axel hissed. “We need you just as much.  _ I  _ need you.”

Roxas sniffled. “I would still do it. I just--I don’t want to. I’m--I’m scared.” His voice cracked on those words.

Axel pulled back to look Roxas in the eye, placing a hand on his cheek. “Roxas. That’s… noble of you, really, but you will  _ never _ have to go back to Sora’s heart, okay?” 

Roxas closed his eyes. “You don’t know that.”

He was right--Axel didn’t know that. None of them had any way of knowing that Roxas could stay permanently, and that thought terrified him. But he would do anything to keep Roxas from leaving again. “I know that you have your own heart, and that Sora doesn’t need you to be a part of him anymore. And I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you. I made you a promise, remember?”

Roxas cracked a wry smile. “That you’d always bring us back.”

“Yeah, and now that you’re back, I’m keeping you.  _ Both _ of you.” He fingered a lock of Roxas’s hair. “You get me?”

Roxas nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered, looking down at Axel’s lips and leaning in. They kissed languidly for a while--Axel rolled them both over so he was on top of Roxas, who opened his mouth pliantly and deepened the kiss. Roxas’s spread his legs; Axel fit perfectly between them.

Cautiously, Axel lifted the hem of Roxas’s shirt and ran his hand across his bare skin. Roxas made a quiet sound of pleasure and lifted his hips to roll against Axel’s. “Roxas,” he murmured. “I…” He what? He didn’t even know. He just wanted more. 

Fortunately, Roxas wanted more, too. He rucked up Axel’s shirt, signalling for him to take it off. Axel tossed it aside and lifted Roxas’s own shirt over his head.

Roxas gingerly slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of Axel’s pyjama pants, his glittering eyes looking up at him as if asking permission. Axel nodded, and Roxas continued. He cupped him, mostly hard, through his boxers. Axel inwardly cursed himself for not sleeping naked.

Roxas hesitantly stroked him through the fabric and shyly said, “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

Axel smiled and tried not to moan out loud as Roxas’s thumb brushed over the head of his dick. “Do you know what you like?” Roxas blushed furiously, but he nodded. “Just… start there.”

But Roxas stopped moving his hand. He got a look in his eye like he had an idea. “Can I, um…” He hooked a finger into Axel’s boxers. 

_ “Yes,” _ he said emphatically, helping Roxas tug his pants and underwear off and discarding them on the floor. Roxas was still half-clothed. “Do you want to…?” Axel asked him, gesturing to his pants.

“Mhmm,” Roxas hummed. He shimmied out of his bottoms, now fully naked and hard. Axel took a moment to really look at him--he was beautiful. Not something he ever thought he’d say about his best friend at the start of everything. But now he couldn’t imagine thinking anything else. 

He lifted a hand to caress Roxas’s cheek without even realizing it, and Roxas leaned into his touch. Roxas bit his lip and reached down to take Axel’s dick in his hand. “J-Just tell me what to do, okay?” Roxas said nervously. 

Axel leaned in and kissed him gently. “Relax, first of all,” he whispered, “and know that we don’t have to do any of this right now.”

Roxas shook his head. “I know. I want to.”

Axel was hoping he might say that. He rolled over and leaned back against the pillows, and Roxas resumed his ministrations. “Not so tight--there,” he grunted, losing himself in the feeling. His mind was flooded with  _ Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, _ and all he wanted to do was touch him back, but he was afraid. “Mm, that’s good,” he moaned, partially to distract himself. 

His words encouraged Roxas, his motions growing more confident. There was a smile tugging at his lips, his big blue eyes blown black with lust. It was a real sight to behold. Roxas suddenly leaned down and captured Axel’s lips in a searing kiss, meeting Axel’s moans with some of his own. “Axel,” he breathed; he’d started grinding against Axel’s thigh. He probably hadn’t even realized he was doing it. 

Fuck, Axel was close. If Roxas kept doing that--

“This still okay?” Roxas rasped. Axel could only close his eyes and nod. He ran his hands over Roxas’s hips. He was bony, but he’d gotten more muscular since first joining the Organization. Axel wanted to kiss those hip bones, lick them, nip at them. He wanted to give Roxas anything and everything he asked. His pleasure built and built at the thought. He realized now that he was gripping Roxas tighter than he should have been, but his grip grew tighter still as his orgasm overtook him, making a mess of them both. 

Roxas stroked him through it all and watched, mesmerized, but soon enough Axel started to get overstimulated. “Ah, okay Roxas, that’s--”

Roxas released him as if stung. “Sorry! I was…” 

“Distracted?”

Roxas smiled. “Maybe a little.” He reached for the tissues on the bedside table and cleaned them both up. 

Axel leaned up and kissed him, hands roaming downward, but he stopped before touching Roxas’s erection.

Roxas stopped kissing back. “What is it?” he asked, sounding insecure.

Axel wasn’t sure what it was exactly, if he was being honest. Roxas had said this was what he wanted, but could he really know that? Was he just latching on to the first person who showed interest in him? Would Axel just be taking advantage of him? 

Axel shrugged. “Don’t wanna fuck this up I guess,” he said sheepishly. “You want this?”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “No, I came in here and jerked you off because I  _ don’t  _ like you.” Axel snorted and pinched his hip in response. “You don’t have to keep asking me that. I know I want this.”

“Yeah, I  _ do  _ have to keep asking,” Axel protested.

Roxas sighed and lay down at Axel’s side. He nibbled at his lip, thinking. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“‘Course.”

Roxas’s eyes glittered with something like mischief. “The first time I ever touched myself,” he started, and that was not at  _ all  _ what Axel was expecting to come out of his mouth,  _ shit, _ “it was back in the Organization, late at night. I remember I couldn’t quite get there, and that first night, I didn’t.” His cheeks were lit up red, and he wasn’t meeting Axel’s eyes. “I kinda gave up and went to sleep. But around the same time the next night, I tried again…” 

He trailed off, and it was then that Axel noticed Roxas’s hand had been inching closer to his own dick. He started to stroke himself, and Axel’s mouth practically watered at the sight. “It was the same as before. It was so frustrating. So then, I thought about asking you for help.” His voice had gone husky with arousal, and Axel just barely suppressed a moan bubbling up his throat. “I wondered if I should wake you up, ask you to show me how to make  _ this _ go away. I imagined climbing into your bed, or maybe sitting in your lap…”

_Fuck._ Axel’s dick twitched. He had no idea that Roxas had felt that way for so long. 

“After that, I didn’t even need to ask for help,” Roxas continued. “Not after picturing your hands on me.” Their eyes locked for a moment. He reached for Axel’s hand with his free one, bringing it close to his erection, an invitation to touch. “Will you help me now?”

“Roxas,” he exhaled, then he surged forward to kiss Roxas hard on the mouth, finally touching him, stroking him, feeling him for the first time. Roxas was moaning unabashedly now, grasping at handfuls of Axel’s hair. Axel wanted to make it last, but Roxas obviously wasn’t going to make it much longer. Not that Axel blamed him. 

Roxas began saying his name, over and over.  _ Axel, Axel, _ it made him want to growl. In a good way, that is. He kissed down Roxas’s throat, nuzzling the junction of his shoulder and tightening his grip a little. It was no surprise when Roxas came with a gasp and a whine, and Axel just kissed him and stroked him through the aftershocks. Roxas brought a hand to the back of his neck and kissed him back harshly, biting Axel’s lip and practically whimpering. 

When Roxas calmed down and stopped writhing against him, Axel smoothed back some of his sweat-matted hair and rolled off of him. “Feel better?”

Roxas gave him a loopy smile. “Yeah,” he whispered. “A little.”

Axel took Roxas’s hand and held it gently. “We’re gonna be okay,” he assured. “All of us are.”

Roxas turned his head to look at him then. “I’m really glad you’re here, Axel.”

Axel grinned, his heart full. “Hey, that’s my line.”

“Whatever.” Roxas untangled their hands and threw an arm across Axel’s waist, hugging him tightly and closing his eyes. “Good night, Axel.”

Axel reached for the blankets and cocooned them both, returning Roxas’s embrace. “Good night, Roxas.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos much appreciated. Follow me on Twitter @twilitowers for shitposts and occasional sneak peeks of my writing!


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